TV soap Emmerdale storyline demonstrating coercive and controlling behaviour in relationships.

What is Coercive and Controlling Behaviour?

Coercion and control refers to a pattern of behaviour, rather than an isolated incident, designed to exert control or power over the victim which is exactly what has been happening to Belle in Emmerdale.

In 2015, new legislation was introduced which made coercive or controlling behaviour a criminal offence. The legislation is designed to give victims who would otherwise be subject to sustained patterns of domestic abuse, better protection.

Identifying someone that is the victim of coercive or controlling behaviour, however, can be difficult. There is no ‘one size fits all approach’ and examples of such behaviour can differ significantly between cases.

Coercive or controlling behaviour usually starts on a very mild scale. The abuser will spend time and energy ‘love-bombing’ their victim in the early days, creating a level of dependency before beginning to exercise their control.

What is happening between Tom and Belle in Emmerdale?

As we saw in the early days of Tom and Belle, their relationship started off like a fairy tale. Tom would often compliment Belle and shower her with affection. If the relationship hit a rocky patch, Tom would show vulnerability to Belle, creating an illusion of him being somewhat dependant on Belle and in need of her support.

This is a common tactic used to encourage the victim into investing more time and concern for their partner. As time progresses, the perpetrator may create an illusion of low self-esteem, being unworthy or even making indirect/direct threats of suicide.

This is typical mind-games shown by perpetrators of coercive or controlling behaviour. They want to control the narrative at every stage and will paint themselves as the victim whenever possible and/or the kindest/ most sympathetic person in the room.

Slowly, they will work on ostracising the victim from their family and friends, making situations awkward until the victim feels unable to visit people independently. They may then begin to belittle the victim’s appearance or pick on other insecurities they may have. Examples may include holding back on giving compliments, denigrating the person’s job/salary and making sly remarks that are often passive aggressive.

Although the majority of abuse is mental or emotional, such behaviour can also be physical. Often, incidents of physical abuse are followed by gaslighting (where the perpetrator tries to convince the victim that something did not happen) in order to make the victim doubt themselves even more. On other occasions, the perpetrator will try to blame the victim for their behaviour and make them feel as though everything is their fault (and not the perpetrators).

Difficult to spot the signs

Spotting the signs of coercive or controlling behaviour is not always easy. As such behaviour is a pattern rather than a one off event, it is hard to establish what is the “final straw” or a “step too far”.

If you or you suspect anyone you may know may be experiencing coercive or controlling behaviour, it is important that you/the person you know maintains contact with family/a support network. Do not shut yourself away and remember your self-worth.

No-one has the right to make another person doubt their self-worth. Whilst every case is different, in all cases, a positive escape is possible. The first step is to ask for help. Let’s hope the Emmerdale storyline leads to Belle getting help and support.

Contact us for help and support

If you or anyone you know is suffering from coercive and controlling behaviour in their relationship, telephone one of our legal advisors in our Family department today for a free initial call on 01926 356000. All enquiries are treated with the highest discretion and you are not under any obligation to instruct.