Busting common divorce myths

Myth 1: Divorce is always messy and ends up in Court

One of the biggest misconceptions about divorce is that it inevitably leads to courtroom drama.

In reality, most divorces in the UK are resolved without ever stepping foot inside a courtroom.

The introduction of no-fault divorce has, of course, made the process much smoother, allowing couples to dissolve their marriage without placing blame on either party.

In my experience, many couples resolve matters through mediation, where a neutral third party helps them come to an agreement, or through collaborative law, where both parties and their solicitors work together to reach a settlement.

While Court can be necessary in some cases, it is often a last resort.

Myth 2: You’ll lose everything if you’re the one at fault

Before the introduction of no-fault divorce in April 2022, some people believed that if they were to blame for the breakdown of the marriage, they would automatically lose out financially or in terms of child arrangements.

Fortunately, the legal system doesn’t work like that and the Court’s primary concern in financial settlements is fairness.

Factors like each party’s financial needs, earning capacity, and contributions during the marriage are what matter most.

If a party is alleged to be at fault/blame for the divorce, it is unlikely to have any impact on their financial settlement.

Myth 3: The children will always live with the mother

While it’s true that historically, children tended to live with their mothers after a divorce, this is no longer the case.

The law prioritises what is in the best interests of the child, and that doesn’t automatically mean living with mum. Historically, it was typical for the father to be the main breadwinner and the mother would stay at home or work reduced hours to be flexible for the children. As a result, there was a pattern for mothers going through a divorce to seek a full time living arrangement with the children. In the modern day, many mothers work the same hours as the father and begin negotiations on an equal footing.

Shared care arrangements, where children spend time with both parents, are increasingly common and the Courts will look at factors such as each parent’s ability to provide care, the child’s relationship with each parent, and the practicalities of the arrangements before making a decision.

It’s important to remember that the aim is always to do what’s best for the child, not what either parent wants.

Myth 4: Pre-nups aren’t valid in the UK/are only for the rich and famous

There’s a persistent belief that prenuptial agreements (or “pre-nups”) aren’t worth the paper they’re written on in the UK or that they are only for the rich and famous.

This simply isn’t true.

While pre-nups aren’t legally binding, they do carry a significant weight if the marriage breaks down, provided they meet certain criteria.

For example, both parties must have entered into the agreement freely, fully understand what they’re signing, and have disclosed all relevant financial information and each taken independent legal advice. They must also ensure that the agreement is finalised and signed no less than 28 days prior to the wedding date (to avoid any potential arguments of duress).

The Court will consider a pre-nup when deciding on financial settlements, and if it seems fair and reasonable at the time of the divorce, it should be upheld.

Pre-nuptial agreements are increasingly popular – especially for those who are marrying later in life and have accumulated wealth of their own or for younger adults who have been provided with financial assistance from their parents i.e. to purchase their first property etc.

Myth 5: Assets are always split 50/50

A common misconception is that all assets will automatically be divided equally between spouses.

In fact, the division of assets depends on many factors, including the length of the marriage, the financial needs of both parties, and their contributions (both financial and non-financial).

While a 50/50 split is often the starting point, the Court will adjust this depending on what is fair in the circumstances.

For example, if one spouse has much greater financial needs, they may receive a larger share of the assets to ensure they are adequately provided for.

Myth 6: You can get a “quickie divorce” in six weeks

Many people have heard of the idea of a “quickie divorce” and assume that a marriage can be dissolved in a matter of weeks.

While the process has become quicker with the introduction of the no-fault divorce system, it still takes time.

There is a mandatory 20-week reflection period from when the divorce application is made, followed by a six-week waiting period before the final order (previously known as the decree absolute) can be granted.

This means that even the simplest divorces take at least six months to finalise.

Myth 7: If you’re not married, you’re entitled to the same rights as married couples

There’s a widespread myth that couples who live together for a long time, or have children together, gain the same rights as married couples.

In the UK, this is not the case.

Unmarried couples do not have the same legal rights regarding property, finances, or inheritance, even if they’ve been together for many years.

This can come as a shock to some people if they separate.

To protect yourself, it’s worth considering a cohabitation agreement, which can help clarify financial arrangements in the event of a breakup.

A solicitor’s perspective

Divorce can be a confusing and emotional process but understanding the facts can make it easier to navigate.

As always, if you’re unsure about anything, it’s always best to seek professional advice from a solicitor who specialises in family law.

We can give you a clearer view of what to expect and help you approach the process with confidence and peace of mind.

We can also help you with the preparation of pre-nuptial agreements which can serve to protect your financial and living arrangements should you divorce in the future.

To speak to a family law solicitor, please reach out to one of our team.