When relationships and marriage breakdown, couples often find, that fear and anger are the feelings which drive their conversations. This can lead to destructive and unhelpful exchanges when almost always the very best solutions are those which a couple are able to work out together for themselves.

Traditionally, when parties separate each takes independent advice from specialist family lawyers and working through their lawyers they try to reach an agreement on how best to settle their differences, both in respect of financial assets and in relation to other matters including the care of the children.

In many cases, this approach can aid couples to reach an agreement. However if agreement is not reached, the matter is often then referred to the family court either to deal with issues relating to the children or indeed in relation to the division of family assets. That litigation inevitably give rise to uncertainty and sometimes to solutions which have been imposed by the court and which can result in settlements which do not necessarily suit either of the parties involved.

Collaborative Law is about trying to change the way people resolve family breakdown. Collaborative Law gives parties the opportunity to sit together in the same room with their partner and respective lawyers as they work out issues face to face.

Rather than dealing through your solicitors you work with them to reach the best solutions for you and your family.

In order for this process to work, it does need the right people with the right frame of mind demonstrating a genuine desire to make it work and a willingness to disclose fully and honestly information about all assets. Both parties must also make an agreement that they will reach a solution without resorting to the court process. The parties within collaborative law are assisted by skilled trained solicitors who are practised in working in this new collaborative way.

The parties still benefit from having their own independent legal advice but as both parties agree not to refer the matter to the court, there is no threat of court proceedings hanging over the parties. The agenda is set very much by the parties themselves, so that they can talk about things that matter most to them and to the family. Collaborative lawyers sign an agreement with their clients, which disqualifies them for representing their clients in the court if the collaborative process breaks down and this means that all parties are absolutely committed to helping the parties find the best solutions by agreement rather than through conflict.

Where children are involved the collaborative process allows for there to be a real opportunity for both parents and the children to cope better with separation if it can be seen that everybody is working together to sort matters out.

Most importantly the collaborative process will allow you to make key decisions about your future and your family’s future yourselves rather than them being dictated by a stranger in a court room. If you wish to consider whether collaborative law can offer you seek a fair solution and minimise the pain of family breakdown then please contact Erica Kemp. Erica is a member of a Specialist Family Lawyers Group Resolution and she is a trained collaborative lawyer.